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Snuggling up with a loved one at night is comforting, but finding the perfect sleeping position isn’t always easy. What does your go-to sleep posture reveal about you and your partner—and how can you both rest more soundly? Let’s find out.
10 Min Read | By Brett Janes
Last Modified 3 February 2025 First Added 5 February 2016
Your couple sleeping position may reveal more about your relationship than you think. Whether you love to cuddle through the night or prefer your own space, how you sleep together can speak volumes. UK psychologists have long studied the link between sleep positions and relationship dynamics. Below, we explore some of the most common sleeping positions for couples in the UK—and what they might say about you and your partner.
According to sleep expert Corinne Sweet and the Travelodge sleep study, these are the most popular sleeping positions for couples and what they say about your relationship:
The most common position is back-to-back without touching. These couples feel connected and confident in their relationship. Sleeping in this position shows both closeness and independence.
This is when you sleep back-to-back but touching. This position shows that a couple is relaxed and comfortable with each other, which is common in new relationships.
This sleep position is face-to-face but not touching. Sleeping like this shows a need for intimacy and close communication between a couple.
This position involves partners lying face-to-face with their legs intertwined. Couples usually separate from this position to sleep. It shows a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds.
The traditional couple’s sleeping position: front to back touching. It can mean one person takes a more protective role in the relationship.
This less popular position includes one partner lying with their head and arm on the other’s chest. This sleep position is common in new relationships or after intimate moments. This pose can represent vibrant or rekindled love.
This is an intimate position where you are face-to-face with your legs intertwined all night. Seen as highly romantic, this position also shows a lack of independence from each other.
The superhero position is defined as lying in a starfish position with the other partner hanging off the bed. In this position, one partner dominates the bed while the other takes a secondary role.
While they didn’t quite make it into the top 8, a few subtle variations in couples’ sleeping positions can gently shift their meaning.
The loose spoon position offers closeness with more space, which is common in long-term relationships. It’s a sign of trust and comfort, showing couples that they no longer need constant physical contact. The big spoon remains supportive while both partners enjoy the balance of intimacy and space for a better night’s sleep.
The chasing spoon position occurs when one partner sleeps closer to one side of the bed, and the other “chases” them. It could mean the chased partner wants space or attention while the chaser seeks more closeness.
The paper doll position sees you and your partner lying on your backs, gently touching hands or limbs. It offers physical connection without too much risk of disrupting each other’s sleep. This position is great for back pain and circulation issues. However, it may worsen snoring.
This position is perfect for couples who enjoy different sleep styles but still want to stay connected. Each partner embraces their own unique sleeping position but maintains contact with the slightest touch, whether it’s your foot, a hand or the sides of the arms. This small act of contact is thought to strengthen a relationship.
The log position, also known as the soldier position, involves lying flat on your back with your arms straight by your sides. While it may help reduce encroaching into each other’s space, this position can worsen snoring.
Both partners sleeping on their stomachs may signal vulnerability or a lack of trust. It might indicate relationship anxiety, especially if you’re not touching. Sleeping on your stomach can lead to back and neck pain, so it’s generally not recommended for your health or relationship.
Similar to the liberty position, the cliffhanger position involves partners lying far apart, sometimes with a foot hanging off the edge. If this position is adopted during an argument or time of disconnect or becomes your regular sleep style, it could signal issues in the relationship. Occasionally, it can simply reflect personal space and comfort.
Though the starfish position can be great for sleep quality and back pain, it’s probably one to save for when you’re sleeping alone. Starfishing while sharing a bed can signal selfishness, especially if one partner dominates the bed. It’s worth discussing if the position reflects an imbalance in the relationship.
Similar to the romantic position but with one partner’s head on the other’s shoulder rather than their chest, the “shingles” position symbolises trust and a nurturing dynamic. It shows a high level of understanding and confidence, with one partner taking on a protector role. Despite its unusual name, it’s a comfy and reassuring way to sleep together.
When it comes to sleeping position, the best one for you and your partner is the one that is most comfortable and conducive to good sleep. You may want to cuddle your partner all night but if you get too warm or like to sleep on your front, then you’ll have to compromise for quality rest.
The big question is whether or not sleeping with a partner helps or hinders your sleep. Well, in 2022, the University of Arizona published a study that said sleeping with a partner can actually help with a number of sleep issues like sleep apnea and insomnia, as well as overall sleep quality, which is great news for couples who like to cosy up.
Many researchers also theorise that sleeping with someone reduces stress, which is often the cause of interrupted REM sleep, and makes us feel safer.
Read more about the benefits of sleeping with someone you love.
However, not every couple experiences a blissful, uninterrupted slumber when they share a bed. In our 2024 Sleep Survey, 88% of respondents said they had shared a bed or currently do share a bed with someone. Therefore, most of us understand how much of a struggle it can be to get comfortable with someone else in our space. If you or your partner are having sleep issues, it can easily transfer to the other person, which can cause issues within your relationship.
Studies have even found that poor sleep quality due to disruptions from your partner can lead to decreased relationship satisfaction, particularly if one partner feels that their sleep needs are being neglected. Sleep deprivation over time can also contribute to a number of health concerns and issues in daily life.
If this sounds familiar, read our article on why it might be time for a sleep divorce.
Stress can severely impact your sleep, keeping you up and even giving you nightmares. If it can be helped, just before bed isn’t the time for arguments or stressful conversations, so try a relaxing activity together, such as light yoga or meditation.
If you’re a night owl and they’re an early bird, it can be hard to find a middle ground so you don’t disturb each other. However, it’s important to have a conversation about how much sleep you both need and how to compromise without losing out.
In the 2022 Sleep Survey, we found that 55% of people find their partner’s snoring annoying, and it’s understandable, especially for those who share with loud snorers. Snoring can impact not just your partner’s sleep but also your own, so it’s important to get it under control.
To prevent sudden bursts of energy when you’re supposed to be nodding off, avoid caffeine in energy drinks, coffee, and even green tea. Instead try some late-night drinks that will promote drowsiness, instead of preventing it for a peaceful sleep for you both.
While it depends on the size of your room, getting a bigger bed can really solve a lot of sleep issues for couples. If you find you feel crowded next to someone in bed and just can’t get comfortable, then it might be time to upgrade your sleeping space. Loving someone doesn’t mean you want to sleep right next to them all night.
Share with a duvet-hogger? It’s simple – get your own! Couples having separate bedding is common in lots of European countries like Germany and across Scandinavia, and it makes sense. By having your own covers, you can choose the material and thickness that you prefer without worrying about what your partner likes.
Technology in the bedroom is generally discouraged because it disrupts your circadian rhythm, so we also recommend putting your screens away when sharing a bed. Not only does it keep you up, but you also risk disrupting your partner with the light.
If you and your partner do have separate sleep schedules: maybe one of you gets ready before dawn or the other unwinds with games until after midnight, then earplugs and an eye mask can be a super easy solution. Blocking out noise and light will help the sleeper drift off in comfort while the other person doesn’t have to worry about disturbing them.
We know life gets busy, and things get neglected – maybe you’ve created a floordrobe, the work laptop has made its way into your bed, and there are more kids’ toys in your room than theirs. However, if you’re both struggling to sleep, then it’s time to fall back in love… with your bedroom. Take our top tips on turning your bedroom back into a space for all things sleep, and see how your rest transforms.
Finally, one of the best ways to sleep better as a couple is to sleep separately! Although it can feel like this means something is wrong, it’s actually the opposite. If you have the space, talk through what you need from your sleep schedule and if separate beds are the solution. For many couples, a sleep divorce is a fantastic compromise to revitalise the rest of their relationship.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to how couples sleep together. Whether you and your partner love to stay intertwined all night or prefer a little extra space, your sleep position can reveal insights into your relationship dynamic—and impact your overall sleep quality.
While some positions promote closeness and security, others prioritise comfort and independence. And while sleeping with a partner has been linked to better sleep and reduced stress, it can also present challenges, from snoring to duvet battles. Fortunately, small changes like adjusting your sleep posture, getting separate bedding, or even considering a sleep divorce can help both you and your partner wake up feeling refreshed.
See all articles by Brett Janes
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