Cuddling in Bed: Tips and Best Positions for Connection

6 Min Read | By Gemma Curtis

Last Modified 3 October 2024   First Added 12 February 2020

This article was written and reviewed in line with our editorial policy.

When it comes to sharing a bed, many couples cherish the idea of drifting off in each other’s arms. It’s romantic, comfy, and seemingly effortless. But sleeping while cuddling can have its challenges: arms in awkward positions, limbs going numb, and uneven comfort. How do you navigate this, and how many of us in the UK actually maintain the habit of cuddling in bed?

We’ve conducted a National Cuddle Survey to uncover Britain’s bedtime habits and answer those very questions. Whether you’re a fan or not, it’s clear that cuddling in bed is a longstanding tradition. To assist, we’ve explored everything from techniques and optimal positions, to the primary reasons couples abstain from this cosy practice.

A nation of cuddle lovers

According to our Dreams Sleep Survey, two-thirds of Brits (64%) enjoy cuddling in bed with their partner every night, and 39% of them cuddle regularly. Scotland takes the crown for the cuddliest region, with only 9% of Scots saying they don’t cuddle at all!

If you’re not a lover of falling asleep in the arms of your significant other, there’s probably a reason why.

Reasons for not cuddling

From the survey, Dreams found that the top 5 reasons Brits don’t regularly cuddle in bed with their partner are:

  • Their partner snores (20%)
  • They find it too hot (19%)
  • They don’t feel the need to (18%)
  • They’ve been with their partner long enough not to cuddle (17%)
  • By the time they get to bed, they fall straight asleep (15%)

Other reasons included fidgeting (13%) and pets sleeping on the bed (6%). If you fall under one of these categories and don’t cuddle at night, you might want to give it another try.

The benefits of cuddling in bed

Half of the survey participants reported sleeping better while cuddling, and there are several reasons why this might be true. Let’s delve into the three main benefits of mastering the art of cuddling.

1. Improve your relationship

Cuddling releases a hormone in the body called oxytocin. This hormone is comforting in every sense of the word and has been dubbed the ‘love hormone’ by scientists.

Oxytocin is mostly responsible for reproductive activities such as inducing labour and stimulating milk production in pregnant women. However, its other responsibility is promoting social interaction and bonding with your romantic partner.

A couple cuddling in bed, facing left, with an industrial wooden headboard and concrete wall in the background.

According to research carried out by psychology professor Ruth Feldman at Bar-Ilan University in Israel, the longer a relationship lasts, the more oxytocin produced. Her team tested the amount of oxytocin present in couples. She and her colleagues found that new lovers had double the amount of oxytocin that is usually seen in pregnant women.

Reporting on the study, Scientific American said that:

‘couples with the highest levels were the ones still together six months later. They were also more attuned to each other than the low-oxytocin couples when Feldman asked them to talk about a shared positive experience.’

Related: Does Partner Sleep Strengthen Your Relationship Bond?

2. Reduce stress, blood pressure, and risk of heart disease

In addition to boosting the love and promoting bonding within your relationship, oxytocin also reduces stress and blood pressure. Stress management coach and holistic therapist Catherine A. Connors says that while cuddling:

‘this chemical reaction can help to reduce blood pressure, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease, but it can also help to reduce stress and anxiety.’

If oxytocin wasn’t enough, cuddling also releases the ‘happy hormone’ serotonin. The two combined are a match made in heaven for your immune system. A study from Carnegie Mellon University in 2014 tested the effects of hugging against the common cold. They found that those who know how to cuddle and did so regularly were less likely to contract the illness. The ones who did get ill reported less severe symptoms. So, next time you’ve got a cold, give a loved one a big long cuddle to ease the pain!

3. Easier to fall asleep

The wonder-hormone oxytocin also induces sleep, so there’s no better place to cuddle than in bed! Scientists think that this happens because it suppresses the effects of cortisol, the ‘stress hormone’. It calms the body and makes us feel relaxed. This effect, paired with the comfort of your bed and your partner’s arms wrapped around you, sounds like the ideal conditions for the perfect sleep. For additional tips on enhancing your sleep quality, check out our article on how to sleep better at night.

Related: Romantic Bedroom Ideas for Four Typical Couples

Best cuddling positions

So, now that we’ve convinced you of why you should be cuddling in bed, it’d be rude of us not to recommend some of the best cuddle positions:

1. Spooning

A firm favourite, 18% of the nation chose this as their preferred sleeping position. Both partners face the same way with one hugging the other from behind. 30% of Brits prefer to be the little spoon!

A couple spoons in a bed with white sheets and a tile headboard.

2. Half spoon

One partner lies on their back while the other lies on their side, embracing them. In this position, the person hugging can rest their head on their partner’s chest, making it ideal for couples where one prefers sleeping on their back and the other on their side.

3. The lap pillow

This cuddle position is ideal for when one of you is ready to rest while the other is watching Netflix or reading. One person sits upright while the other places their head in their partner’s lap.

Two women on a couch: one sitting upright and the other resting with her head on the lap of the upright woman

Cuddle positions for warmer weather

4. Back to back

As the name suggests, this position is where both partners lie on their sides facing away from the other but maintain physical contact.

5. The windmill

The windmill position allows for plenty of stretching out, which is ideal for staying cool. Lie on your backs, facing opposite directions, and use each other’s shoulder as a pillow, with your cheeks touching.

6. Criss-cross

This type of hug lets your partner know you’re there by simply lying next to each other and placing your leg over theirs, offering minimal contact.

7. Two peas in a pod

Ideal for side sleepers, this cuddle involves both partners lying on their sides facing each other. Interlock your knees wherever comfortable and consider holding hands for added intimacy.

8. Spacious hug

Perfect for those who find the above positions too warm. Maintain a hug with arms extended, leaving space between you.

Whether you’re already a cuddle enthusiast or contemplating giving it a try, bedtime cuddling remains a cherished ritual for many couples. From exploring the best positions to understanding why some opt out, our National Cuddle Survey revealed that cuddling in bed is more than just cosy—it’s a tradition that fosters intimacy and improves sleep quality.

So, next time you’re under the covers, consider embracing your partner in one of these comforting positions and reap the benefits of this simple yet powerful act of affection. Explore more about relationships and the benefits of sleeping next to someone you love for a better night’s rest in our related article.

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